One again I haven’t written in a long time but since I noticed everyone on Twitter today is speaking up against bullying I decided to share one of my stories. I have been picked on and judged for being different my whole life. In middle school I tried so hard to fit in that I stopped being myself sometimes and got mixed with the wrong crowd but even still bullying was never okay in my book.
In middle school there was one troublesome kid who picked on everyone, groped the girls and was an all around horrible person but no one ever dared to stand up to him. Sixth and Seventh grade I was lucky enough to have a good friend who would protect me from this bully. This friend always sat next to me on the bus and walked with me to and from. He never let this kid come close.
My eighth grade year my bodyguard friend left to high school and I was on my own and the delinquent kid decided to take advantage of my lack of protection. I was barely 5’0 tall in middle school and only weighed around 90lb, So I was an easy target and looked like I couldn’t defend myself. One day this kid started going at one of my friends and me. I don’t know what came over me that day that brought this action. Maybe it was all my personal family problems building up or maybe I had enough of being disrespected. When he went to grab my chest I reached out and hit him across the face, he stumbled back and didn’t move for a minute, my friend’s little sister screamed behind me where the bully’s friends had them cornered. I looked behind me to help them out and next thing I know I’m looking back at the boy and he punches me right in the eye. I slumped back against the bus window and blacked out. Eventually the bus driver noticed the screaming and then there was a police officer escorting us both off the bus.
In the principles office I iced my eye and started feeling the pounding pain while we were questioned by the officer and waited for our parents. Other than my two friends no one on the bus came forward to tell the principle what happened, none of the boys on the bus helped me. They all stayed quiet in fear. When my parents got there My mother hovered over me and started demanding answers, my father was using every ounce he had in him not to go after the boy. When his parents came in I could already see where his violent side came from he stiffened when his father walked in. His parents said nothing to me, they couldn’t careless. I don’t remember much else from the principle’s office my mother was hurrying because she wanted me to go get checked out at the hospital.
In the end we were BOTH suspended. My throwing the first punch had to be punished even though I was protecting myself against harassment. I was suspended for almost two weeks and this was the day before my birthday. I remember coming back to school and boys on the bus making fun of me because “I got knocked the fuck out”. The fact that no one helped, and the school shrugged it off so easily is what still upsets me to this day. Even if he may come from a “bad home & rough life” is not an excuse for violence and bullying. My family life has never exactly been perfect but even then I would never slump to that level.
I hate to think what kind of horrible things that kid is up to now. In all honesty I could only think bad things about him. Maybe I really did over react by hitting him but when it comes to fight or flight response my “fight” quickly kicks in especially during my middle schools years where I had a lot of pain and anger bottled up. Either way it should never get to this point. If you are being harmed in anyway speak up and get help.If your child is being bullied listen up and help them. Let the school and the bully’s parents know you will not stand for this!
This post came out longer than I expected but I just needed to rant and share my story. BTW I’m in no way saying “hey go beat up your bully, fight violence with violence” That approach did not work out for me. Also if YOUR child is the bully don’t make excuses for them, step in and be a parent. Get them help. There is no excuse.